The Void

By Lori Scharf

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Over the weekend I went to see Marvel’s latest film, Thunderbolts*. It was a great movie- just ask the 93% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes! But I’m not here to give an in depth review. I’m hear to talk about why impacted me. (Raise your hand if you cried in the theater with me).

Spoiler Warning: I’m going to try to spoil as little as possible about the overall plot, but we will be talking a lot about themes and characters. If you haven’t seen Thunderbolts* yet, go watch it. Then come back.

Disclaimer: I’ve only seen the movie once so quotes may be incorrect. Since it’s not out on streaming yet, it’s hard to verify exact wording. I did my best!

“There’s something… wrong with me.”

Our main character Yelena opens the movie with a monologue about the emptiness in her life. Not just sadness or lack of purpose, something more.

A void.

The Void is a very familiar feeling for a lot of us. A deep emptiness inside threatening to swallow us.

Throughout the movie we see each character battle the Void. During the last battle sequence, they each get trapped in their worst moment, forced to re-live it over and over.

The Void isn’t just a feeling. It’s a dark reflection of ourselves trying to tear us apart from the inside. A monster trying to take over our lives.

At one point a character is sitting in an attic in their memories as their family fights below them. It’s the safest memory they could find. So they sit and watch The Void tear their safe space apart.

“So you’re just going to sit here and let it happen?”

“What else can I do?”

If you’ve ever experienced The Void, you know this feeling. Lost, helpless, paralyzed. You’ve fought for so long, now there’s seemingly nothing else you can do. You’ve fought, you’ve lost. The darkness is so deep that it’s smothering you.

“I go to work and then I come back home and drink and sit on my phone and think about all the terrible things I’ve done.”

Yikes. Ok, don’t be calling me out like that, Yelena.

This really sums up our generation, I think.

Tell me if you’ve ever been in this scenario:

It’s 10pm. You decide to go to bed at a reasonable time for once.

But you don’t.

You scroll.

One hour.

Two.

Three.

More.

Because when you scroll the voices are finally quiet. You don’t have to think. You don’t have to cry. You can just exist.

Suddenly it’s 2am and you finally shut off your phone.

You want to throw it, destroy it.

You hate yourself.

You hate that you’re wasting your life away chained to a tiny black box.

How did you end up like this?

You had so many dreams, so many goals and ideas.

Now here you are, depressed, unable to even turn off your phone, much less your brain.

Your chest starts to hurt. It’s hard to breathe.

Maybe it would be best to just… stop. Stop fighting. Stop hating yourself. Stop breathing. Stop existing.

You wish it would just… stop…

“The little girl I knew lit up the room with her kindness.”

“I… I don’t remember that…”

Sometimes when you’re in the Void, it’s hard to remember who you were before It took over. The person you were, the joy you felt.

That hurts.

It makes you question what happened to that version of you. Can you ever be that person again? Who knows. Probably not. You don’t deserve to be happy. Not anymore.

Yelena is haunted by the evil things she’s done. She’s not sure if she can really be a good person. She done too much. Gone too far. She’s too broken.

She’s isolated herself because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone else.

“Daddy… Daddy I’m so alone!…” “…Why didn’t you call?”

“I didn’t think you wanted me.”

That’s the funny thing about The Void. This is the time you need people the most, but you just can’t. You feel so alone, yet all you can do is push people away.

You can’t do it alone.

The main message of this movie isn’t about depression or manipulation or world takeover.

It’s about family.

Not just you blood, but the people around you who held your hand through the darkest times. Who had your back when your world was crumbling.

It’s about the people who know about all the terrible things you’ve done but who love you anyways.

There’s a scene where a character is literally fighting themselves. They have The Void by the throat, ready to beat it once and for all. But as he fights it, it starts to take over even more. Darkness creeps up the character’s limbs, about to consume them.

Then the other characters arrive. One by one they break through the barriers The Void has pinned them down with and come to the character’s rescue.

Not with punches and bullets.

With love.

They stop the character from beating themselves and wrap their arms around them.

“You’re not alone.”

As a Christian, I know that I’m never alone. And I know that I’m never truly empty.

But that doesn’t stop The Void.

This movie tells us that not only can we rise above The Void, but we can also rise above ourselves.

Your life isn’t about who you were. It’s who you choose to be.

You can stand by and watch the Darkness take over, or you can fight.

But you can’t do it alone.

If you are fighting alone, I encourage you to reach out. A friend, a family member, a pastor, someone.

You are never alone.

He who is in you is greater than he who is in the World.

My DMs are open on all platforms if you ever need to talk.

Keep fighting.